Life is Hard

Life can be hard.  This means a lot of different things for each person.  I over think everything, and have to have meaning to what I'm doing.  This is especially hard when it comes to choosing a career or just a job.  I know that you're suppose to just work and be content.  That's what we are taught. find a job that pays well and take care of your family.  So what does taking care of your family really mean?  Of course cover the necessities, utilities, rent, food, clothing etc..But what do we really need compared to what we think we are suppose to need.  When I think about the upcoming holiday season I think what I should be really teaching my kids.  We quickly say it's all about Jesus, is that really what we truly believe or teach.  Maybe our routines show that, going to church, reading the word.  But what I see is the pressure to buy more things for people who don't need anything, me included. 
A phrase that has recently started bothering me is, "be in the world, not of it."  To me that's impossible.  Most of our goals in this life are somewhat related to money.  We push our careers to succeed in this world, which puts you of the world.  I believe if we truly believed every part of the bible, we wouldn't be worried about what job we had, how much money is in our account, is our house big enough, or is our car new enough.  And we wouldn't be judging anyone, because like our own hearts, they are very complex and we know that we are all sinners.  We tend to focus on areas we don't struggle with and try to fix them for others.  I wish we wholeheartedly knew who Jesus was and followed Him instead of what we are told by Men.  Show me a man in history that didn't have his own selfish agenda in mind.  We are all selfish, we can't help it, we are born that way.  So basically we are all hopeless by our own merit and if you believe you are forgiven then you have no place to look down at anyone, because you didn't do anything worth noting.

It seems to me that when someone lives out what they believe fully, they are a little off.  I hope that someday I'm considered a little off.  I don't want to be classified in to a specific group. 

My future are these little tots.  What greater accomplishment is there in life is there that raising children.  This is all that matters. 

This pictures sums up my day and night.  Poor Hannah, she means well but has no boundaries.  But I wouldn't trade her help, I would say anything but someone that wipes their own butt would be nice.  The picture just reminded me of what a difficult job stay-at- home moms have it with young children.  Hats off to those moms that pack up 3+ kids and go buy anything, let alone soccer games,groceries, etc.


Although this is a show of recognition to all moms, it's also a call out to dads who see all those roles as the mom's responsibility.  I'm not judging believe me, I still argue with my wife about roles daily.  Lately I've been able to see things from her perspective more and realized I did and still do put most things dealing with the kids on her.  It's a struggle for me to open my mind to these changes because as we all are, I'm a product of nurture.  My mom did it all as far as running the family, dad made the money and was always there.  Kinda the same role I've been playing, in a way.


This starting off for a whole different topic but I'll get there later.. Now I remember.

Talking about Hannah's heart.  She loves him so much.  She's our bottle giver in the car, our clown to keep him happy, and our sweet lyricists.  But in there also is this ugly, egotistic pulse, and we are feel its beat constantly.  I'm confronted with this more now than when I was working daily and I fail 80% of the time.  What a difference it would make if we surrendered ourselves daily to our children.  Maybe everyone does practice this and I'm just behind.  I know we make sacrifices beyond measure, but let's not see just the financial sacrifices but the only thing with true value, time.  There aren't many times in you life when you have 3 people, even if they're small. that love the crap out of you and want nothing but to play with you...I'll have to read this in the morning ..

I've come to the conclusion that "the shower" is the poor man's spa, at least for me.  The shower is my meditation room, steam room, massage parlor, and where I figure out life's problems.  But as soon as I step out, the cold hits my face, the sight of diaper bombs, and sound of small girls cleans the slate on any ideas and thoughts I previously had.  Welcome back home for this daddy of 3.