Overcoming Bitterness

Bitterness.  A place I find myself often. Bitterness, I believe is a sister to selfishness.  It's easy to find yourself in this place.  We've all had moments were things don't go your way even if you had the best intentions.  Of course we all know that hindsight is 20\20 and I know this all too well. The past 5 months or so nothing has worked out the way I've planned.  I've tried to live my life in a way that is respectful to others, trying to help those I see in need, and trying to put others before myself.  But lately I've been thinking that maybe I've done all those things expecting something in return.  So does that really make me any different than those that blatantly put themselves first, I don't think so.  So where does that leave me?  How do you love and expect nothing in return ?  I'm sure we all know the answer to give but truely living that out seems almost impossible. I think that's where faith comes in. This is a subject I've struggled with lately. Honestly to me, having faith is the hardest thing I can think of. This may sound absurd to some but putting your trust in something that this world doesn't convey is overwhelming at times.  It's easy to see people we know live only for themselves and succeed beyond measure while we're trying to hold on to something larger only to struggle and doubt our heart and its choices.  The hardest thing for me is knowing what it takes to succeed in this world and knowing my heart. They are as far apart as anything imaginable. Living without faith will drive you insane, having you question every decision you make because it will always be opposite of what society tells you is right.  I'm definitely a stranger in this world.  It's hard to know what your suppose to be doing when we're always influenced by everyone else, waiting for approval from those who are as confused as you.  It's just that not everyone will admit it. I see no use in deceiving others if I'm not 100% convinced in what I belive. Life is hard and it came no instruction manual, so you have to make a choice on what you're going to belive.